The United States Redneck Special Forces

BUMPED

Originally posted July 2007.

The United States Redneck Special Forces:

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).

97a45-redneck.jpg

These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5 . They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt .

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Hat tip: My Hubby, who emailed this to me. I didn’t write any part of this.

UPDATE (January 18, 2008):

News from the field:

Being a USRSF operative in the mid-east mud-flap brigade, I have to say that it feels darn good to finally get some recognition up in this Mo-Fo. Things have been getting a little dicey around these parts as of late. We ran out of Kodiak around last October and the Iraqi chew taste like something out of a Eddie Murphy Love Pump. Although, a tin of Skoal did save Cpl. Billy’s life in a most unexpected way.
We appreciate the warm Milwaukee’s Best light you all been shipping out monthly, as well as the Yosemite Sam tank tops. I will update you further in the upcoming weeks, but for now, I got me a Sherpa to molest. Later.

UPDATE:

USRSF Sgt. Cletus inspects the troops’ improvised beer can batons:

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43 Responses to “The United States Redneck Special Forces”

  1. Wickedpinto Says:

    Aww, the hubby’s all about the tards.

    Like

  2. mesablue Says:

    I thought that was the hubby.

    Like

  3. nicedeb Says:

    My hubby doesn’t have that much hair.

    Like

  4. cranky Says:

    They killed Number 3, The Intimidator? Oh, it is so on now.

    Like

  5. daveintexas Says:

    hair? I have tons of hair.

    But I don’t have a .50 cal Barrett

    Like

  6. nicedeb Says:

    Dave, is that what that is? It almost looks like a spud gun!

    Like

  7. nicedeb Says:

    Cuffy, it may be time for another Niblets, update.

    Last we knew, she was wreaking havoc in St. Louis Gardens. Who would have ever guessed, she and her gang would be as far east as PA.

    Like

  8. forged rite Says:

    I still see trucks almost every day with a #3 decal on the back window. It’s a pretty safe bet that he wouldn’t be too happy with junior leaving DEI to go be teammates with Jeff Gordon at Hendrick.

    Like

  9. Dave in Texas Says:

    Yeah Deb. It’s a monstah.

    Like

  10. Niblets Says:

    Having a wonderful vacation. Weather is beautiful! Wish you were here!

    Like

  11. mesablue Says:

    Hey Stewart, come over here so I can smack you.

    Eww, I got chav juice on my hand.

    Like

  12. daveintexas Says:

    Shhhh… mesa,

    I think it’s trying to communicate.

    Like

  13. Finally, some REAL help on its way to Iraq…Go, USRSF!! Says:

    [...] There is good news for the fighting forces in Iraq, who are dealing with relentless insurgents. (original author unknown…hat-tip NiceDeb) [...]

    Like

  14. Grizzly Groundswell » Finally, some REAL help on its way to Iraq…Go, USRSF!! Says:

    [...] There is good news for the fighting forces in Iraq, who are dealing with relentless insurgents. (original author unknown…hat-tip NiceDeb) [...]

    Like

  15. Jaclyn Rhiannon Cady Says:

    That’s a Lahti L-39 twenty-millimeter semiautomatic anti-tank rifle, an antique weapon dating back to the Second World War.

    Like

  16. nicedeb Says:

    Interesting.

    Dave in Texas is going to want to talk to you about that.

    He’s a bit of a gun aficionado.

    He’s not gonna like being shown up by a girl.

    Like

  17. Jaclyn Rhiannon Cady Says:

    *shrugs* I’ve seen it before, and I have an eidetic memory.

    Like

  18. steven cinco Says:

    Being a USRSF operative in the mid-east mud-flap brigade, I have to say that it feels darn good to finally get some recognition up in this Mo-Fo. Things have been getting a little dicey around these parts as of late. We ran out of Kodiak around last October and the Iraqi chew taste like something out of a Eddie Murphy Love Pump. Although, a tin of Skoal did save Cpl. Billy’s life in a most unexpected way.
    We appreciate the warm Milwaukee’s Best light you all been shipping out monthly, as well as the Yosemite Sam tank tops. I will update you further in the upcoming weeks, but for now, I got me a Sherpa to molest. Later.

    Like

  19. nicedeb Says:

    LOL!

    You do realize I’m gonna have to post that?

    Like

  20. nicedeb Says:

    I still get a lot of hits on this silly post!

    Like

  21. Anonymous Says:

    can I be a part

    Like

  22. collin Says:

    Im a redneck how come I didint get chosen ?

    Like

  23. nicedeb Says:

    Come on guys…just go to your nearest Army recruiting station and ask about the USRSF. They’ll set you up. You two sound like the type they’d steer that way, anyhow.

    Like

  24. Brad Brown » Blog Archive » 24 Random Facts about Brad Brown Says:

    [...] I won this in a raffle at a turkey shoot. For the non-Southern reader, a turkey shoot is where rednecks get together and shoot targets in order to win frozen turkeys.   23. Had I been born a girl, [...]

    Like

  25. reneck cletus wife smacker Says:

    you americans are so dumb when will you grow up and realize that G.W bush is a terroisist go democrocy

    Like

  26. nicedeb Says:

    Hey, redneck cletus wife smacker:

    This is for you.

    Like

  27. The United States Redneck Special Forces « Anna Lyttiger Says:

    [...] United States Redneck Special Forces Posted on 9. oktober, 2008 af Anna Lyttiger Sidste nyt fra The War Against Terror: The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United [...]

    Like

  28. Anonymous Says:

    you stink

    Like

  29. woodshunter6 Says:

    man i sure dnt no much about this innner net but i tiped in redneck and i found some good websites like this one yall kno anybody in alabama wantin to sell a 4wheeler or dirtbike aroun $900 or under

    Like

  30. woodshunter6 Says:

    oh yeah for that redneck cletus wife smaker dude u can kis my american lovin redneck white hairy ass

    Like

  31. Anonymous Says:

    oh my god this is the funniest shit ever. BS war, but reason #5 is fuckin funny. If your are out in the desert and come on a circle of law chairs, a cooler of beer and a radio playing NASCAR, what out, it’s a trap.

    Like

  32. DALLA/DOUG Says:

    WHAT’S UP FOLKS FROM THIS WEBBLOG. HOW IS IT GOING ?? SWEET …
    LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING: WE ARE TRYING TO GET KNOW WHAT IS REALLY A RED NECK IN THE USA.
    CHEERS …

    Like

  33. Chrys Says:

    Well hell yeah. Ya’ll boys go kick some ass. Ya’ll need any help, you just holler! Ya Hear?

    Like

  34. William A. Schmitz Says:

    Although they do smell like the wrong end of a sick goat and they do have an uncomfortable love for killing anything that disagrees with them, those Turbaned Terrors of the Middle-East do have the honor of discovering coffee. Well their goats did, at least. Ya gotta give them something for that… something in a little higher caliber, perhaps? Hey, where does an old Grunt sign on? The U.S.R.S.F must have a recruiter in the Ozarks! Seek The Core!!

    Like

  35. bOOsSH Says:

    thats not a real gun btw its a model ccreated by the military to help soliders understand the parts of the gun and how to assemble and clean an such- funny as hell though :D

    Like

  36. Anonymous Says:

    you are weird people

    Like

  37. Anonymous Says:

    Stupid peakerwoods with nothing to do

    Like

  38. Redneck Pics | Pafos Photos Says:

    [...] The United States Redneck nicedeb.wordpress.com [...]

    Like

  39. Tony Says:

    Can someone please tell me who that guy is? I want to shake his hand

    Like

  40. jacob heflin Says:

    Hey guys i am starting a redneck army to be there if the government. Collapses i live in florida any one want to join

    Like

  41. skyrim download cracked Says:

    You actually make it appear so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really one thing which I believe I
    would never understand. It seems too complex and very large for me.
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    Like


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