A Town With No Happy-Meal Toys

Rush Predicted this sort of thing would happen 15 years ago -The food police . A NannyState left inflicting all sorts of  onerous regulations and restrictions on restaurant owners all in the interest of keeping our diets “healthful”:

As 5-year-old Jena Rosetta chomped down a “yummy” lunch of Burger King chicken nuggets on Monday and slurped down a soda, her mother dug into the Club BK kids meal box and presented Jena with her reward: a Pinkalicious plastic doll that perfectly matched her pink blouse.

“We like the toys,” said Jena’s mother, Susan Barragan.

But if Santa Clara County Supervisor Ken Yeager gets his way, there may be no more dolls, race cars or toys of any sort to entice kids like Jena — and their parents — to feast on fried, fatty fast-food.

The supervisor wants to stop — or at least limit — restaurants from offering toys that encourage children to eat fatty, sugary, high-calorie and generally unhealthful meals that can lead to childhood obesity.

“They want the toy and have no idea what’s in the food,” Yeager said Monday. “You can’t expect a 3-year-old to say there are too many calories in that hamburger.”

So sad. Does this remind you of anything? Think Christmas, Santa Claus, Winter Warlock, and…… BurgerMeister MeisterBurger.

Guess who plays the part of the Burgermeister MeisterBurger.

When Kris Kringle is old enough, he volunteers to deliver the toys to Santa Clara’s fast food restaurants. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Kris, the Burgermeister, (also known as Santa Clara County Supervisor Ken Yeager) has outlawed all Happy Meal Toys in his jurisdiction, having comically tripped on a Toy Story II Squash & Go Rex, and being injured by a hot wheels tow truck while walking out of City Hall. In revenge, (and because he thinks fast food is “unhealthful”), he declares that anyone found possessing a Happy Meal toy will be arrested and thrown in the dungeon. Meanwhile, before Kris makes it into the town, he befriends a penguin who has lost his way while trying to make it to the South Pole and gives the little penguin the name “Goracle”. Kringle and Goracle run away. Once Kris enters the town, he meets Miss Jessica (, a local schoolteacher. At first, Jess is a bit rude to Kris, but suddenly finds herself liking him when he offers her the one thing she’d always wanted with her Burger King chicken nuggets; a Pinkalicious plastic doll . But not everyone is amused to see Kris. In fact, they’re even frightened off by his very mentioning the words “Happy Meal Toy”. Indeed, the children of the town have been forced into hard labor, (and cup stacking), but mostly cup stacking. Kris, however, decides to do something about that and begins handing out Happy Meal Toys to the wee ones. Just then, the Burgermeister (Ken Yeager ) arrives on the scene. At first, he almost arrests the children when he discovers them playing with the Happy Meal Toys that Kris gave them, and after a short confrontation, chases Kris out of town, pelting him with mini beanie babies, and Betty Spaghettis.

Hat tip: iOWNTHEWORLD