Nude Hula Dancing Bandit Caught On Tape

Store clerk, Vicky Gaines had no idea what was in store for her when she arrived to work at Fish’s Quick Stop in De Soto, Missouri, but in the wee hours of the morning on August 18, a bare naked, masked man entered the store, and began to do a hula dance.

This was meant to be a distraction while another man took a case of beer, and some cash from the store. Gaines managed to keep her wits about her, and called the police:

“Um… I’ve got a naked man in my doorway…with a mask on…can you come…up here?”

You can watch the naked hula dancer here, (although his privates, are obscured), and watch as the men run to their car with the case of beer.

Did I hear right? Did she say that he said, “You want somma this?” LOL.

I wonder if, when they were in the planning stages of this heist, they drew straws to see who got to be the naked hula dancer.

Or if the guy just volunteered.

Via Crime Scene KC

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34 Responses to “Nude Hula Dancing Bandit Caught On Tape”

  1. nicedeb Says:

    Oops, I meant to post this at the Hostages.

  2. nicedeb Says:

    I owe you guys a post.

    *Sigh* back to Crime Scene…

  3. eddiebear Says:

    Hell, I never was that bad about snagging beer.

    I hate to go WP, but here is a True Story ™:

    My dad is true St. Louis: all beer and bourbon. Nothing else. Well, he had a bottle of some weird clear German booze that he brought back from a business trip. In high school, some friends and I knocked back some of said clear booze and tried to cover it up by pouring water in there.

    Well, one night he and some of his German Society friends decide to start hitting the stuff from Die Vaterland. You can guess how it goes from here. My old man beat the sh&t out of me. More so, he said, for trying to cover up what we had done and leading to embarassment for him.

    Lesson: stick to beer.

  4. nicedeb Says:

    Jeez, Eddiebear, you were a regular juvenile delinquent, weren’t ya?

  5. eddiebear Says:

    The stuff that went on in an all boys HS would make my mother blush. I blame my Jesuit scholarship.

  6. eddiebear Says:

    The funniest thing ever was on Friday Night Football games getting to see all the Priests, Brothers and Scholastics smoking like chimneys in the “Faculty Section” of the stadium. For an order that took a vow of poverty, they lived pretty well.

  7. cranky Says:

    nicedeb always has the best “true crimes.”

    So the guy with the short straw had to do the naked dance?

  8. wiserbud Says:

    Actually, I offered to do the naked hula dance, but Rosetta insisted. Who am I to argue?

  9. Dave in Texas Says:

    eddie’s story reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from WKRP in Cincinnati/i>, where Herb Tarlech is pouring cheap scotch into an empty bottle before a meeting with a customer, and Les asks him “What are you doing Herb”? and he replies “Aging scotch”.

    As far as beer snagging, there’s a technique we used to call “Yahoo-ing beer” (we just talked about it we never did it as far as YOU know), where 7-10 of us walk into the c-store and then all yell YAHOO at the same time, snag a 12-pack and run out the door.

  10. Dave in Texas Says:

    I believe I failed to close a tag there.

  11. Rosetta Says:

    wiserbud,

    This would have been funnier if you would have stolen the beer AND some hot dogs or a banana or something.

    Maybe a beef stick.

    Also, I can’t wait for Bob Munck to show up again. Him getting tossed under the bus last night was one of the funniest riffs I can recall.

  12. wiserbud Says:

    Maybe a beef stick.

    But where could I have carried those items, what with my hands full with the beer?

    Yeah, Munck’s a clueless, pseudo-intellectual boob. He shows up semi-regularly, usually to downplay any and all positive economic news (that’s usually when his ignorance positively shimmers.)

    Ace has banned a lot of trolls over the last few months and, sadly, the ones that have shown up to replace him have been weak at best.

  13. Rosetta Says:

    I don’t like the troll banning unless they are seriously over-the-top abusive.

    That’s one of the funnest parts of this whole thing is having someone step up for a beat down.

    It’s when we lack trolls that I fee the urge to turn on Nice Deb.

  14. Rosetta Says:

    feel

  15. wiserbud Says:

    It’s when we lack trolls that I fee the urge to turn on Nice Deb.

    Geez, not really what one would call “challenging yourself” there, Rosie. Nice Deb is nothing if not a target-rich environment.

  16. Rosetta Says:

    That’s what makes her fun to attack. There are so many reasons that she deserves a verbal pummelling, it’s hard to choose where to begin.

  17. sandy Says:

    luv u po mahal q luv u luv u lvu u

  18. Michael Says:

    It’s when we lack trolls that I fee the urge to turn on Nice Deb.

    Check out that swimsuit picture again. It might help you to modify your urges.

  19. wiserbud Says:

    Check out that swimsuit picture again. It might help you to modify your urges.

    Actually, that’s one of the things that pisses Rosetta off about Deb.

    You know how bitchy some chicks can be.

  20. nicedeb Says:

    ‘Check out that swimsuit picture again. It might help you to modify your urges’.

    It’s that bad?

    ‘Him getting tossed under the bus last night was one of the funniest riffs I can recall’.

    What’d I miss?

  21. nicedeb Says:

    What’s the deal with Sandy?

  22. wiserbud Says:

    I think sandy is spam and can be safely deleted.

    Either that or he’s stoned again.

  23. Rosetta Says:

    Nice Deb,

    First, what swimsuit picture?

    Second, you should go read the comments from the “Thinking about Double Standards” post.

    Bob Munck was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

  24. nicedeb Says:

    He’s probably talking about “Even old ladies like me like to have fun”. Check the sidebar…top posts.

    I posted that, the day after I started my blog, as a joke. It was my answer to WP who keeps calling me geriatric.

    I figured after a few days of goofing around, I’d delete my whole blog, but I never got around to it.

  25. nicedeb Says:

    Ace keeps doing that ‘changing the trolls comments’ thing, but I wish he wouldn’t.

    That just drives them away, and he doesn’t realize that some of us enjoy the trolls.

    Plus, if you come in (to the thread) later, you never have a chance to see the original comments.

    Plus it’s not fair.

  26. Rosetta Says:

    Who’s the chick in the pool? Nice Deb’s grandma?

  27. nicedeb Says:

    You guys are MEAN!!!!

  28. Rosetta Says:

    Hahahahaha! I like when Nice Deb yells. It’s like poking a caged animal with a stick.

  29. Rosetta Says:

    Gaines: “Um… I’ve got a naked man in my doorway…with a mask on…can you come…up here?”

    911 Operator: “You have a naked man in your doorway with a what on?”

  30. wiserbud Says:

    Rosetta, wtf? The comment I made about not listening to my mother’s insanity still has me laughing and no comment from you? or anyone?

    Seriously, I though that was the funniest thing I’ve written in 6 months. And nothing.

    Humorless morons, the lot of you.

  31. nicedeb Says:

    Did Wiserbud say something?

  32. wiserbud Says:

    I hate you all.

  33. Dave in Texas Says:

    I don’t know, I think ace has been pretty tolerant of the trolls… there are times when he stirs up the Sadly No! morons or the Ron Paulbots and they really don’t have anything to say, they just want to crap on the dining room table.

    He doesn’t tolerate racism, and has a reasonably high bar for abusive commenters, but whatever. I’ve only seen 2 or three trolls that could manage to comment intelligently on anything (he that shall not be named) who got shitcanned for racist comments, and tubino, who still comes by and cannot seem to manage to get over his obsession with Reagan.

    Rosetta, did you raise enough money for the next operation?

  34. Rosetta Says:

    wiserbud,

    You’ve poisoned your own well with your Bob Munck comment. Nothing else you say for the rest of time will be as funny as that.


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