The United States Redneck Special Forces

BUMPED

Originally posted July 2007.

The United States Redneck Special Forces:

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).

These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5 . They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt .

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Hat tip: My Hubby, who emailed this to me. I didn’t write any part of this.

UPDATE (January 18, 2008):

News from the field:

Being a USRSF operative in the mid-east mud-flap brigade, I have to say that it feels darn good to finally get some recognition up in this Mo-Fo. Things have been getting a little dicey around these parts as of late. We ran out of Kodiak around last October and the Iraqi chew taste like something out of a Eddie Murphy Love Pump. Although, a tin of Skoal did save Cpl. Billy’s life in a most unexpected way.
We appreciate the warm Milwaukee’s Best light you all been shipping out monthly, as well as the Yosemite Sam tank tops. I will update you further in the upcoming weeks, but for now, I got me a Sherpa to molest. Later.

UPDATE:

USRSF Sgt. Cletus inspects the troops’ improvised beer can batons: