BUMPED
Originally posted July 2007.
The United States Redneck Special Forces:
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5 . They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt .
The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.
Hat tip: My Hubby, who emailed this to me. I didn’t write any part of this.
UPDATE (January 18, 2008):
News from the field:
Being a USRSF operative in the mid-east mud-flap brigade, I have to say that it feels darn good to finally get some recognition up in this Mo-Fo. Things have been getting a little dicey around these parts as of late. We ran out of Kodiak around last October and the Iraqi chew taste like something out of a Eddie Murphy Love Pump. Although, a tin of Skoal did save Cpl. Billy’s life in a most unexpected way.
We appreciate the warm Milwaukee’s Best light you all been shipping out monthly, as well as the Yosemite Sam tank tops. I will update you further in the upcoming weeks, but for now, I got me a Sherpa to molest. Later.
UPDATE:
USRSF Sgt. Cletus inspects the troops’ improvised beer can batons:
Aww, the hubby’s all about the tards.
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I thought that was the hubby.
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My hubby doesn’t have that much hair.
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OT: Spawn of Niblets?
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=cp_f8afbi46526&show_article=1&catnum=9
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They killed Number 3, The Intimidator? Oh, it is so on now.
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hair? I have tons of hair.
But I don’t have a .50 cal Barrett
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Dave, is that what that is? It almost looks like a spud gun!
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Cuffy, it may be time for another Niblets, update.
Last we knew, she was wreaking havoc in St. Louis Gardens. Who would have ever guessed, she and her gang would be as far east as PA.
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I still see trucks almost every day with a #3 decal on the back window. It’s a pretty safe bet that he wouldn’t be too happy with junior leaving DEI to go be teammates with Jeff Gordon at Hendrick.
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Yeah Deb. It’s a monstah.
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Having a wonderful vacation. Weather is beautiful! Wish you were here!
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Hey Stewart, come over here so I can smack you.
Eww, I got chav juice on my hand.
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Shhhh… mesa,
I think it’s trying to communicate.
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Pingback: Finally, some REAL help on its way to Iraq…Go, USRSF!!
Pingback: Grizzly Groundswell » Finally, some REAL help on its way to Iraq…Go, USRSF!!
That’s a Lahti L-39 twenty-millimeter semiautomatic anti-tank rifle, an antique weapon dating back to the Second World War.
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Interesting.
Dave in Texas is going to want to talk to you about that.
He’s a bit of a gun aficionado.
He’s not gonna like being shown up by a girl.
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*shrugs* I’ve seen it before, and I have an eidetic memory.
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Being a USRSF operative in the mid-east mud-flap brigade, I have to say that it feels darn good to finally get some recognition up in this Mo-Fo. Things have been getting a little dicey around these parts as of late. We ran out of Kodiak around last October and the Iraqi chew taste like something out of a Eddie Murphy Love Pump. Although, a tin of Skoal did save Cpl. Billy’s life in a most unexpected way.
We appreciate the warm Milwaukee’s Best light you all been shipping out monthly, as well as the Yosemite Sam tank tops. I will update you further in the upcoming weeks, but for now, I got me a Sherpa to molest. Later.
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LOL!
You do realize I’m gonna have to post that?
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I still get a lot of hits on this silly post!
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can I be a part
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Im a redneck how come I didint get chosen ?
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Come on guys…just go to your nearest Army recruiting station and ask about the USRSF. They’ll set you up. You two sound like the type they’d steer that way, anyhow.
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Pingback: Brad Brown » Blog Archive » 24 Random Facts about Brad Brown
you americans are so dumb when will you grow up and realize that G.W bush is a terroisist go democrocy
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Hey, redneck cletus wife smacker:
This is for you.
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Pingback: The United States Redneck Special Forces « Anna Lyttiger
you stink
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man i sure dnt no much about this innner net but i tiped in redneck and i found some good websites like this one yall kno anybody in alabama wantin to sell a 4wheeler or dirtbike aroun $900 or under
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oh yeah for that redneck cletus wife smaker dude u can kis my american lovin redneck white hairy ass
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oh my god this is the funniest shit ever. BS war, but reason #5 is fuckin funny. If your are out in the desert and come on a circle of law chairs, a cooler of beer and a radio playing NASCAR, what out, it’s a trap.
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WHAT’S UP FOLKS FROM THIS WEBBLOG. HOW IS IT GOING ?? SWEET …
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING: WE ARE TRYING TO GET KNOW WHAT IS REALLY A RED NECK IN THE USA.
CHEERS …
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Well hell yeah. Ya’ll boys go kick some ass. Ya’ll need any help, you just holler! Ya Hear?
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Although they do smell like the wrong end of a sick goat and they do have an uncomfortable love for killing anything that disagrees with them, those Turbaned Terrors of the Middle-East do have the honor of discovering coffee. Well their goats did, at least. Ya gotta give them something for that… something in a little higher caliber, perhaps? Hey, where does an old Grunt sign on? The U.S.R.S.F must have a recruiter in the Ozarks! Seek The Core!!
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Pingback: Yankee Doodle « Kokomag's Blog
thats not a real gun btw its a model ccreated by the military to help soliders understand the parts of the gun and how to assemble and clean an such- funny as hell though 😀
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you are weird people
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Stupid peakerwoods with nothing to do
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Pingback: Redneck Pics | Pafos Photos
Can someone please tell me who that guy is? I want to shake his hand
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Hey guys i am starting a redneck army to be there if the government. Collapses i live in florida any one want to join
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You actually make it appear so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really one thing which I believe I
would never understand. It seems too complex and very large for me.
I am having a look forward for your subsequent post, I’ll try to get the hold of it!
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Pingback: Horror: Jordanian Pilot Burned Alive | Nice Deb
Because the admin of this website is working, no doubt very rapidly it will be renowned, due to
its quality contents.
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Usually I don’t learn article on blogs, but I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to take a
look at and do it! Your writing taste has been amazed me.
Thanks, quite great article.
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Pingback: Land of the Free. Home of the Brave
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