Giant Penis Penetrates Graduation Ceremony

Meet 19 year old Calvin Morett whose sole motive was, “he thought it would be funny”:

(Yes, that’s silly string he’s spraying at the orchestra.)

Saratoga Springs Police Sgt. Sean Briscoe said:

Morett allegedly interrupted the Saratoga Springs High School graduation by marching across SPAC’s stage in an inflatable 6-foot penis costume while diplomas were being given out.

Allegedly??? Come on, it looks like a clear cut case of a guy dressed as a giant penis disrupting a graduation ceremony, to me. Of course, as James Hart at Crime Scene KC noted, “if you’re dressed as a penis, you’re going to be disruptive no matter where you go”.

Morett was ticketed for disorderly conduct, a violation, and will face the charges in City Court on Tuesday, Briscoe said.

Morett graduated from Saratoga Springs High School last year. He tried to streak away from law enforcement, but could not.

“Once I stopped laughing, he was pretty easy to catch because he was tripping on the lower portion of the costume,” said Briscoe, who made the arrest.

I imagine there were some pretty upset grandparents in the audience who were not laughing.

Hat tip: Crime Scene KC

Picture by John Carl D’Annibale / Times Union

UPDATE: (July 17):

The “giant dork” has been ordered by a judge to write an apology to the city:

The judge has also ordered Morett to pay to have the apology published in a local newspaper, pay court fees and perform 24 hours of community service.

UPDATE (July 18):

The long awaited video, right here.