Video: Greg Gutfeld’s Deadly SOTU Drinking Game

Ace of Spades thinks Greg Gutfeld may be trying to kill us with his SOTU Drinking Game…

Text below, but it’s better to watch — video after the jump. He announces the rules of the game with a desperate weariness that sells the bit.

“Every time he says ‘folks,’ drink. Every time he says ‘fair share,’ drink. Every time he says ‘extraordinary,’ drink. Every time he brags about working tirelessly, drink. When he frets about lack of compromise, drink. If he says, ‘Bring me a bill, and I’ll sign it,’ drink. When he brings up the middle class, the people he’s ruining, drink. Every time he says, ‘It’s the right thing to do,’ drink. Every time he cites someone that his policies have helped, drink. If she’s in the audience, drink some more. Every time he says, ‘I never said it would be easy,’ drink. If he says that after mentioning ObamaCare, drink again. If he says ObamaCare’s rough start was worth it, drink. And every time he reminds us that running a country is really hard, say, ‘Yeah, we can tell,’ and drink … Finally, each time you feel like you’re being screwed, drink. And if you still buy anything from this gas bag, then you deserve the world’s worst hangover, and enjoy it, ‘cause you built that.”

For serious drinkers only – obviously.

And here’s a preview of the “Empty Suit’s” speech, tonight (hat tip Geo):

Tea Party Express, the nation’s largest tea party political action committee, is allowing credentialed press to join the organization’s leadership at the National Press Club tonight to watch the State of the Union Address, the GOP response, and the official Tea Party response with Senator Mike Lee. Senator Lee will be delivering his remarks from an adjacent room at the National Press Club.

Tea Party Express Chairman Amy Kremer and Tea Party Express Co-Founder and Chief Strategist Sal Russo will be available for comments and reactions throughout the evening.

Date: Tuesday January 28, 2014

Time: 9 PM EST

Location: The National Press Club – 529 14th St. NW, 13th Floor, Washington, DC 20045

Room: 1st Amendment Lounge

Tea Party Express hosted the first ever Tea Party State of the Union response in 2011. Last year’s speaker was Senator Rand Paul.

Senator Mike Lee will deliver the official Tea Party Response to  Obama’s 2014 State of the Union Address, here.

U.S. Chamber’s Donohue Comments on State of the Union:

U.S. Chamber of Commerce President and CEO Thomas J. Donohue issued the following statement ahead of President Obama’s State of the Union Address:

“Tonight we expect the president to discuss a number of important policies that will help spur growth and improve America’s global competitiveness. We also expect there to be a strong emphasis on inequality and opportunity, but the president’s overall plan to address it is flawed.

“America’s promise has always been equality of opportunity, not outcome. To ensure every American has the opportunity to pursue and achieve the American Dream, we need more good-paying jobs and workers with the skills, education, and incentives to fill them. Government can’t create those jobs; the private sector can.

“We can’t afford to double down on the failed policies of tax, spend, regulate, and mandate. That approach hasn’t worked for the last five years, and it won’t work now. It’s time for a change in direction that will lead to stronger growth, more jobs, bigger paychecks, and greater opportunity for millions of Americans. It’s time to work toward reducing deficits and regulations, reforming taxes and entitlements, aggressively expanding domestic energy, and dramatically improving our education and training programs.”

The Chamber’s 2014 Jobs, Growth, and Opportunity Agenda includes expanding trade, producing more domestic energy, improving infrastructure, modernizing the regulatory process, making essential changes in entitlements, fixing the flaws in Obamacare, curbing lawsuit abuse, and advancing American innovation by protecting intellectual property. The agenda also focuses on revitalizing capital markets, passing immigration reform, and efforts to improve education and training, which will expand opportunity, address inequality, and create jobs.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce is the world’s largest business federation representing the interests of more than 3 million businesses of all sizes, sectors, and regions, as well as state and local chambers and industry associations.

See Also:

AoSHQ: Kevin Williamson on the Grisly Farce That Is the State of the Union

This is quite the opening paragraph:

The annual State of the Union pageant is a hideous, dispiriting, ugly, monotonous, un-American, un-republican, anti-democratic, dreary, backward, monarchical, retch-inducing, depressing, shameful, crypto-imperial display of official self-aggrandizement and piteous toadying, a black Mass during which every unholy order of teacup totalitarian and cringing courtier gathers under the towering dome of a faux-Roman temple to listen to a speech with no content given by a man with no content, to rise and to be seated as is called for by the order of worship — it is a wonder they have not started genuflecting — with one wretched representative of their number squirreled away in some well-upholstered Washington hidey-hole in order to preserve the illusion that those gathered constitute a special class of humanity without whom we could not live.

It’s the most nauseating display in American public life — and I write that as someone who has just returned from a pornographers’ convention.

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