Aussie Judge Warns Teen Of ‘Gorillas In The Mist’


Think prison…showers….big hairy guys.  Yeah, a  judge in Sydney, Australia has an interesting way of putting the fear of God into teens arrested for drag racing:

“You’ll find big, ugly, hairy strong men (in jail) who’ve got faces only a mother could love that will pay a lot of attention to you and your anatomy,” said Magistrate Brian Maloney.

The 19-year-old male appeared in Sydney’s Downing Center Court on Monday charged with driving without a license, failing to stop at a police alcohol check point and driving dangerously.

It was his third time before the courts for driving offences, prompting the magistrate’s warning he would be jailed next time.

Maloney barred the teenager from driving until 2013, placed him on a 12-month good behavior bond and ordered him to do 150 hours of community work.

Breaching any of these conditions would see the teenager jailed where he would “shower with the gorillas in the mist down at Long Bay jail,” said Maloney, his comments confirmed by the court on Tuesday.

I surprised the judge didn’t advise the teen to invest in some soap on a rope, just in case.

The Sydney Telegraph supports the judges warning, as street racing has been an increasing problem in the city.

The newspaper’s editorial backed the magistrate’s warning of life behind bars, saying his comments were “a vision in clarity” and gave the teenager “a reality check of his future.”

Well, I hope that the kid’s been scared straight.

Hat tip: Crime Scene KC

NH Man Claims He Was Molested By Bigfoot

57 year old Gene R. Morrill has been ordered to serve 20 years in prison for his own molester-related activities. His defense attorney cited Morrill’s mental health issues in seeking leniency from the judge.

Morrill told an investigator preparing his pre-sentence report about being sexually assaulted by the legendary Bigfoot, a North American folklore character said to be between 7 and 10 feet tall, and covered in dark brown or dark reddish hair. Patton said Morrill really believes the assault happened.

From the look of his mugshot…he’s still haunted by the memory.

Incredibly, he was determined to be mentally competent to stand trial.

The AP Video on the story:


Hat tip: Crime Scene KC


Wow! Another one:

A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak “Australian”.

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

These types of stories always come in threes…..oooh, I’m on pins and needles…check back in the near future for the update.

UPDATE (August 13):

2008: Monster Summer

3 monsters (including bigfoot) “discovered”, so far, this summer.

UPDATE (August 20):

Awww nuts. The bigfoot discovery was an elaborate hoax.

Bad Santa

Only in LA, folks:

A 6 ft 4, 280 lb man dressed in a purple G-string and a red Santa hat failed a breathalyzer test outside of Grauman’s Chinese Theater Sunday night.

Rick Carroll, 53, of Long Beach, Calif., who also sported a blond wig, black leg warmers and red, lace camisole, allegedly registered just over the legal blood-alcohol limit of .08 percent when officers tested him after he pulled up in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater Sunday night, the Los Angeles Times reported Tuesday.

He was booked on a misdemeanor DUI charge and released on $5,000 bail. His car was impounded.

Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Deputy Chief Ken Garner said officers were “pretty sure this is not … Santa Claus.”

I daresay.

Schmoozing With Terrorists

Well, this book, Schmoozing With Terrorists has been out for several weeks, but for some reason, today is the first I’ve heard of it.

Aaron Klein, a Jewish reporter traveled to terrorist enclaves in the West Bank and spoke directly to the militants themselves. They share their thoughts on American celebrities, who they would like to see in the White House, and why they kill and maim.

Atlas Shrugs blogged about it last month, when it first came out. She has an interesting video of Klein asking some terrorists about the 72 virgins, with an assist from Rusty Humphries.

Guess who the terrorists’ choice for president, is?

“I hope Hillary is elected in order to have the occasion to carry out all the promises she is giving regarding Iraq,” stated Ala Senakreh, West Bank chief of the Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades terrorist group.

Abu Hamed, leader of the Al Aqsa Brigades in the northern Gaza Strip, explained in “Schmoozing” Clinton’s repeated calls for a withdrawal from Iraq “proves that important leaders are understanding the situation differently and are understanding the price and the consequences of the American policy in Iraq and in the world.”

The Iraqi resistance is succeeding,” stated Hamed. “Hillary and the Democrats call for withdrawal. Her popularity shows that the resistance is winning and that the occupation is losing. We just hope that she will go until the end and change the American policy, which is based on oppressing poor and innocent people.”

Not that that’s surprising.

Anyway, sounds like a good read.