Graceland (part one)

We almost skipped it because the girls slept in so late, and I wanted to get home at a decent hour, but the girls really moved once they were up, and really seemed to want to go….so we checked out of the hotel at 11:00 am. and were boarding the shuttle to take us to the mansion by 12:00 pm.

After we bought the tickets, and were waiting to board the shuttle, we went to the ice cream parlor and got milkshakes, which came in commemorative black Elvis cups that I was determined to keep, and bring home.

While we were waiting in the shuttle line, a security dude came by and told us we wouldn’t be able to bring the milkshakes on the shuttle; we could keep the cups, but we’d have to finish the milkshakes. Well, dammit these milkshakes were huge, and I had just spent 20 Cupsbig ones on the four shakes and one soft pretzel, (which we shared). We all started slurping our shakes as fast as we could, which sort of took the enjoyment out of the treat, you know what I’m saying? My youngest panicked when she saw a shuttle approaching, and threw the rest of hers away in the nearest trash can. The rest of us managed to finish, but now I was stuck holding four sticky, drippy cups for the tour. And that shuttle wasn’t for us, so we got to wait a little longer.

Oh! I almost forgot to mention the people standing in front of us. Three Scandis! Two women, a butch, dumpy ‘Rosie’ type, and a thin, straggly haired tattooed one wearing… get this… a spaghetti strapped dress with a low back revealing her not strapless bra. It was not hot, WP, you would not hit that. She also smelt strongly of BO. My oldest was sniffing our armpits, going, “who smells like BO?” I had to gesture towards the woman, “pssst, stupid, it’s her.” The third Scandi was a dude dressed up like Elvis. Yep. An Elvis, hanging out with these two chicks, and speaking some Germanic language. Weird, weird weird! In all fairness, he was a better Elvis than the one at the ceili the night before.

The security dude came back and hassled my eleven year old a little. “Ahm afraid we cain’t let you in wearing that shirt.”

She was wearing an AC/DC shirt.

“Heh heh”, we laughed nervously. “Good one.”

He hung around us for a while and chatted, which was fine, but he overstayed his welcome.

“Well, ya’ll have a good time on the tour,” he said.

“Oh, don’t worry, we will!”

More chatting…..

“Well, ya’ll enjoy the tour, now.”


More chatting….

“Well, ya’ll enjoy the tour.”

“LEAVE US ALONE!!!!” Okay, I didn’t say that, but I was thinking it.

Soon, we moved up the line, got our pictures taken, were given our headsets, and boarded the shuttle. We were on our way to Graceland!

……to be continued.


2 thoughts on “Graceland (part one)

  1. My mothers been there, she said it was boring.

    It’s all about experience I guess. My first major traveling experience had me stay with my brother at Patrick Airforce Base, just miles away from kennedy/canaveral.

    STUNNING, and really, if you can’t beat that, I’m bored.

    Later I went to the high desert of California, STUNNING!! it doesn’t look real, really it doesn’t.

    Then I went to Okinawa where the view out of my “front door” was a ship LITTERALY broken in half, trapped in the coral, close enough that I could walk on the coral during low tide, and climb it and drink on it, only to swim back? (100% true about he ship broken in half, the drinking the walking and the swimming)

    After that, you have to actually DELIVER!!!!

    Vegas came close, I mean you can see the pyramids searhlight from more than a hundred miles away depending on the road you take.

    Theres a lot of amazing shit in this world.

    Like a woman who should be in a nursing home, but is still so hot that I would never let my male cousins visit her site cuz they will get turned on, or my female cousins visit her site cuz they would feel innadequante, and think that the only way to look that hot is to OD on hormone treatments.

    (I am such a FRIGGEN DICK! sometimes)


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